There seems to be a popular trend among physicians in this day and time. Psychological evaluations almost always end with a label placed on the "patient" and an enormous amount of stigma follows. I was labeled "Bi Polar" in 1997….I must honestly say, it is much easier to adhere to a label, than live with this illness. For those of you that have been unjustly labeled as something you are not, count your blessings; For those of you that live the life of a Manic Depressive, my heart goes out to you.

I have struggled quite a bit over the past few years. I have battled depression that has driven me to the point of suicide….and elation that has made my skin crawl with delight. I have been from the highest peak to the lowest depths and everywhere in between. Would I change anything that I have gone through? Even I have a hard time answering that, as I have learned a great deal about myself. I don’t know if "normal" people could understand the amount of soul searching and insight that comes from living so near the edge. All I have are memories and experience of where I have been inside my own head. I owe a great deal of my strengths and attributes to my battles. "That which doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger"… Undeniable scientific theory has given us the evidence to support the case that only the strong survive. I am living proof.

Many of you that are reading my words are struggling with your emotions, weather you are depressed, manic, psychotic… or anywhere in between. I too was once like you… fighting for my soul and a life that I once had. I gave up many times and stayed in the dark where I was safe, sometimes for years at a time. One day I made an attempt to open the blinds and let in the light… I was ready to accept all that I had been through, and was ready for a new life. I was just so broken down and beaten, I didn’t know how to take that first step… Sort of that same feeling you get when your house is a disaster.. and you don’t know what to clean first.

That’s when I was touched by angel. I was literally awakened inside by something. I have a very supportive family, a beautiful daughter and many things that I appreciate. But this angel was different. This person knew of my struggles, my dreams, my desires, my strengths, and my weaknesses. Not only had he walked in my shoes, but he had the blisters to prove it! The very same individual that created this website is the one that I will never forget. He helped me find the light. Light in a place where I thought none existed.

I have made some dramatic changes in my life. Above all, I want to live. That in itself is the greatest achievement I could ever have made at such a time in my life.

To the angel who guided me to light in utter darkness. I will never forget the time, energy and dedication you have given me. For everything that I hope to accomplish, you will always be with me. For the life you have restored in me, its value is priceless.